No, we don’t do elephants. Too cliché.  We’re here to talk about The Mighty Boosh, and we’re sure most of you know why.

It all started on Sunday morning, when at the bottom of a pile of showbiz drivel on their website, The Daily Mail ran a short piece, that didn’t even warrant a photograph: too busy touting shots of pop-stars no-one cares about.

It read, and we quote:  “Fans of cult TV series The Mighty Boosh will be thrilled to hear that its stars are at last putting together a script for a big screen version.  Almost two years after Noel Fielding, 40, who plays Vince Noir in the quirky comedy, announced plans to turn the show into a film, he and co-star Julian Barratt are finally putting pen to paper.  ‘We’re going on tour early in the New Year and we’ll be working on material that hopefully could make a movie,’ says Julian, 45.  ‘We want to make something great for the fans.’”

Now, quite understandly, this vexed us something chronic.  Was this, perhaps, Julian Barratt being assailed on the red carpet at the première of The Harry Hill Movie last month, chronically misunderstood?  Or was there more to it?

Naturally, we went digging.  And whilst other comedy sites picked up on the story – both Chortle and British Comedy Guide (merely doing their job of course) publishing pieces based on this seemingly random quote – we spoke directly to Boosh management, who very kindly confirmed this was a no-go story.

And then, as if by magic, the boys themselves got in on the act.

First off the block, came Dave Brown, and Bollo himself had some heartwarming words of wisdom for us all…

From what I can see the source is The Mail? Nuff said x

— Dave Brown (@Jimmylazers) January 5, 2014

If anything is going to happen we will let you know or we’ll let @thevelvetonion know. Sorry x

— Dave Brown (@Jimmylazers) January 5, 2014

Then before we could say a word, in waded Noel Fielding himself, who was by now being named as the person who spoke to the Mail by other publications, with a succinct denial…

I’d rather have my balls dipped in acid than speak to the Mail x

— noel fielding (@noelfielding11) January 5, 2014

So that’s that, then.

As much as we ourselves look forward to whatever the Boosh have got planned in da foocha, we nevertheless must confirm that, at present, any talk of future plans is just that: talk.

The Boosh will be loose, and a little bit raw at some point in our future.  The movie is always an ongoing concern, the album is in the can and waiting for the right moment to be released, and the success of their live dates in September and October proved there’s life in the Sunshine Kid and Captain Corduroy yet.

But for now, we must be patient.  Series two of Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy nears completion, and though a challenging first series polarised opinions, we’re confident the show is bigger, bolder and above all else, better than before – and we can’t wait for you to see the results.

Indeed, we visited the set last summer for another of our stonking video exclusives, which we’ll be bringing you in due course, along with a whole host of other Luxury related goodies as soon as we can.  The moment is being prepared for, and when the time comes, we’ll do the same for the Boosh return too.

When it happens, you’ll be ready… and that’s because we’ll still be here, keeping you abreast of everything else the boys, and the numerous fine and wonderful comics who encircle them are up to on stage, television, film, radio, online and in print.

There’s so much to savour, it’s hard to believe there’s been so little Boosh activity since TVO started four years ago.  We think all these other projects keep things ticking over rather well, don’t you?

But here’s the thing…

As of today, there are no confirmed live dates.  There’s no confirmed movie details.  There’s no plans for the television series to return.  The album release remains in limbo.  

The only reason we’re posting this now is to make that absolutely clear, so no more fans get caught up in the false excitement that the original article, and subsequent recycling online has created.

The Mighty Boosh are back on hiatus, but this could change at any time.   And as Dave suggests up above, with any luck we’ll be amongst the very first to know.  

And therefore… so will you.

Stay peeled.