You may have noticed that the last 48 hours have been unusual for The Velvet Onion: there has been no news. Our lack of news coverage wasn’t in deference to any wedding – no, there was no news because the people we write about appeared to be glued to their TVs instead of creating news for us. Thankfully though, they were tweeting about it.  So here it is: The Souvenir TVO Guide to The Booshinerse Twittersphere, Royal Wedding Edition:

Active tweeter Dave Brown is a good place to start, and Dave helpfully provided a running commentary throughout the day, starting with Boosh references like “You may now drink Baileys from the bride’s shoe” and “Fossil’s doing the first dance”, moving on to more general insults about the guests later in the day: “The Dirty duke is all over Pippa like a rash” and  “And now 4 hours freakshow interviews”. Dave also put his artistic talents to good use by creating his own royal wedding commemorative plates (see photo, left).

Sporadic tweeter Noel Fielding stood his ground in the shadows where fantasy and reality combine, telling us “I cried all through the wedding and then ate a union jack. Just burped up one of the blue triangles….used it to chop up a mango”. Then afterwards, sparking off a philosophical debate about the true nature of Will and Kate’s union by asking, “I know they are married but are they really married?”

Rich Fulcher was unexpectedly absent from royal wedding twitterings, perhaps because at the moment each of his tweets is so precious, or perhaps because he’s used up his Kate Middleton tweet quota pre-nuptuals, with classics like “I just saw Kate Middleton passed out on the District Line” (7th December 2010).

Boosh producer Spencer Millman peppered the day with #RoyalWedding, commenting on everything from the onlookers: “all those people camping out in the freezing cold tonight will wake up in the morning with actual Royal Wedding Fever”, the entertainment: “don’t think I’m going to be buying the soundtrack album”, and his admiration for Kate’s sister: “Pippa Middleton is making this a good watch” and “forget the kiss, I wanna see Pippa Middleton’s arse again.”

Alice Lowe joined the rest of bloggersphere in wondering what the heck was going on with everyone’s headgear: “why are there so many people wearing hats in the CENTRE of their foreheads? like some kind of mutated ram.”  Chris O’Dowd was also fascinated with them: “I feel like I can’t remember a time the Wedding wasn’t on. Can’t get enough of these sweeeeet fascinators”. Finally, Dan Clark took a time out from his blossoming tour relationship with Ben Parker, providing us with a handful of royal wedding-related messages, including “I’m going to have to watch something incredibly working class next. Maybe Nil By Mouth. That should even it all out.”

The rest of the Booshniverse were either absent, avoiding talk of the wedding altogether, not bothered about it (Matt Berry: “Have just awoken and missed the wedding. Am about to do something quiet and fully intrepid in New York”), shocked at the extent of the coverage (Holly-Jane Shears: “Henry VIII would be turning in his grave at him and Jane not getting THIS much attention! I hope they eat a swan at the wedding breakfast.”) or vehemently against it, like Kim Noble’s “here’s a tweet thats not connected directly to the wedding: CAN EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP”.

Whatever your personal views about the wedding, we at TVO Towers hope that normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.